Memories from the past and wishes for the future

We all look into our past sometime or the other.
And some of us do that very often.

I guess we do that when we are either not so happy with our current lives or when we are in content with the way our present life is.
I donno where i stand. I even feel like, knowing or not knowing that thing does not even matter.

Then what are the things that matter to me? My memories?
If so, then why? Why do i think that my past and all those memories related to that yesterday’s life of mine are the happiest one’s that i have.
I am not even sure about this why? But when i was thinking about all these “why’s”, one thing struck in my thoughts.
Am i happy when that past used to be my present? I now realize that, then i never thought or questioned myself if am happy or not.
I just lived my life. And thankfully, apart from some minor work pressures, it all went good. That part of my life turned into a happy memoir.

And since this is the case with my then life, i come to a conclusion that i must have been happy then.
And comparing the situations to the present ones, i could feel the same me who is just looking into her past to find out if she’s happy or not.
The only thing that this girl of now doing wrong is, she’s starting to think about things that are beyond the limits of her brain and just stressing out.
There is no need for me to think about how everything is going onn..if it was fine or not. I just need to do my best at things and feel happy that i did my part.
It is all you need to do. Doing your part right. Never worry about the other parts. They are not your things to worry about.

Sometimes everything’s not this simple. Life always brings us at the crossroads where we face challenges, hurdles and all other things to worry about.
But don’t you think there must be some way at the crossroad, which leads to the right path, or to the destination that you need to be at? I think there is something like that always.
Somewhere is the hidden puzzle that tells us our way out. And sometimes, we get the puzzle just by playing along and sometimes we need to twist it a little.
Isn’t this life is all about. The great Hide and Seek.

And this brain of ours never sits idle. It thinks about a hiding when all you need to do is seek. And it thinks about seeking something when you need to hide.
May be this never existing thing called heart confuses our little brain in some cases.
Happiness, pleasure, distress, sorrow, love & luck. All these are the little mazes that await our arrival and sometimes they take a special piece of us over there and let us leave.
And we are bound to leave these mazes and move on from time to time. And so, if we need to leave a piece of us in that process, we readily give it.

I guess, this is where the big conflict between our present and past comes. We don’t even know if we are happy in the past, but still we love it to come back again.
And this present of ours always awaits our return to it. It just hopes that we understand it and enjoy it the way we do with the past. It gives us a reason to smile now and in our future too.

Never let your present be sad just because the past has bits of you with it. There is no such thing like enjoying the present. Because, im sure in some future, you’ll be looking back to this present and thinking about it.
A happier present makes you a better and happier person than the bitter past that took pieces of you.

Love.
Sahasra.

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