I should say, my day went really well. I woke up early. Though I skipped walking, I was happy that I was gradually getting used to the routine and I know for sure that I am going to get better. And at work, I wasted little or no time and was really busy. It was so long since I’ve been this busy and that too with, really good and challenging work. I like easy works, but love challenges and issues. I got to fix or create something awesome for me to be happy. And that’s what I did today. I was dead tired and exhausted but loved the exercise my brain had. I even started off early from work. I thought that I could happily end my day after writing my blog post.
I am really stupid to think so. Why would that be my life, if everything goes by the plan. No, nothing terrible happened. Its just some news that stirred a lot of thoughts and made me really sad.
On my way back home, I called my recently married best friend, Deeps. Deeps, Potti(my other best friend) and i were on a conference call when Deeps gave us the news that she will be leaving for US on the 23rd of this month. We all knew that she will be leaving after marriage but we thought we had a few months before it actually happened. Things at her job were not settled and the management wasn’t even cooperative in letting her go. For some reason, they changed all of a sudden and were ready to relieve her immediately. She got her Visa approved last week and with office issues resolved, she was now ready to leave. We are happy for her and even made plans for shopping and spending the rest of time together while she was here.
Only after my call ended, it sinked in that she will be leaving to US in a few weeks and we might not meet again in years. I know, we can call and talk to each other all the time . But the 3 of us will never be able to be together. We can never be the little group we were. I was happy that she is moving ahead in her life and doing well. But I somehow couldn’t control this sadness which is a result of the end our journey.
I am always aware that this day is inevitable and we have to leave a few things, people and places as a part of our growth process. It’s just me, who hates farewells and good byes. I have this unreasonable anger on why things(good or bad) has to come to some end all the time. I donno why I was angry over something that I have no control over.
I donno what life has in store for me. I donno where life is going to take me. I donno where we all are going to end up. I know, no one knows. But still, this feeling that I have isn’t a happy one and it won’t let me digest the uncertainty that life offers.
After the call ended, I came home, had lunch and since then was holding my phone to write something. But strange, no thought comes in. My mind is never empty. It always is filled with some rubbish. But now, no, there’s absolutely nothing. I was wondering where did all those topics I listed in my brain since morning, dissappear to. I started to think of the day’s happenings and then realised that I have been on mute since the call ended. My brain stopped processing things since then. And so, I started writing my experience and feelings that made me so numb.
I think I am okay now but donno how I’m going to react when I meet her this weekend. I have had so many people who left the same way and every time I feel the same. I just have no more left in me, to take one more good bye. Or at least, none for now.
This is just another tiring day that made me think on how weird life is which makes us happy, sad and what not, and all, in a single day.
Unlike me, hope u all had a good and easy day.