Back to the city

Holidays are over and I am on my way back to the city. I have been away from home, since junior college and there are countless days like this. No matter how much I like being alone, days like these are really difficult to pass. Years have passed by since the first time I left home. And yet, these feelings never change.
It is on days like these that I think I am a strange person with totally conflicting thoughts.
1. I am an independent person, yet I hate to leave home.
2. By default, i go into a sad mode on days like this.
3. If you measure my love for my parents and my sister, I’m sure all measuring scales will break.
4. Hatred towards my job reaches its breaking point.
5. If you ask me what my life ambition is, I’m sure my answer will be to never leave the house and become a housewife.
6. I will be the person who hates travelling the most.
And many such things which I would never do or say on a normal day.
All I can say is, with just one quarter life experience, I am already insane, confused and totally lost.
Heyy god, are you there? If yes,  Help me na.

πŸ™‚ good night ppl. Hope you all had a lovely sunday.

Love
Sahasra

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10 thoughts on “Back to the city

  1. God helps those who help themselves

    I can understand I have been out of home since I was in class 5.. first hostel then came to UK. .

    Maybe that’s y in long to be home.

    Take care of yourself and this shall pass too

    • Ohho bikram, you always take God’s side. Not fair huh. πŸ™‚
      I know I’m confused and there’s nothing anyone can do in situations like these. It’s just my rant on having to go through this all the time. πŸ™‚
      But you were out since class 5 ? Bikram, you are my god! How are you managing?..
      Take care.

  2. Hey, I think there is a definitional problem with the word independent in your case. that’s just one meaning of it you are looking at, the dependency part wrt your home… When I say I am an independent woman, it means a lot more at the level of thought and action.. and family and friends are always our support system, independence does not stand a chance when they are on the other side of the scale πŸ™‚ take care

  3. I’m very independent, but I still tear up every time I leave my parents and return here. I miss them intensely. This, despite having lived away from them for over 20 years now. Hugs!

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