Yesterday, I was having a conversation with someone about addictions. It was then i truly realised that, I as a person get addicted to things or people very easily and later it becomes really hard for me to get out of such addictions. And also that I was not just suffering from one addiction but many.
Let’s talk about people some other time since my real problem is with the things that i am addicted to. Here are a few of them.
1. Books – This includes both buying and reading books.
2. Reading blogs – Aah, what do i tell about this. I am spending almost half day at this and no wonder i have tonnes of pending things to be done at work.
3. Movies – Count movies in all the three(Telugu, Hindi & English) languages i know and then in Korean and Tamil that i don’t know but take the help of subtitles.
4. TV shows – Count English, Korean, Hindi & Telugu in their order of priority. I am a serial downloader and is very much indebted to torrents.
5. And very recently, writing these blog posts. I’m telling you, it just makes time vanish like nothing.
All these things pretty much eat all of my time and leave me with nothing for personal life. I really have no idea how i have been managing. If i am not doing any of these, i will be either working or sleeping or bathing. I was so addicted to these electronic gadgets that my eye sight went down by 2 more points. I have anti-glare glasses since college, but never did i have to use glasses for eye sight. These 4 years of working and all these along, did enough damage and it is still going on. I stopped doing Yoga 4 years back and needless to say, with all these activities that just want me to sit and do nothing else, i gained almost 10 kgs(plus the recently reduced 5 kgs)!. Thank god, I was back to my senses and was trying to fix this now, but there is a lot of damage that’s already done. I shouldn’t even think about talking the damages to my confidence and health. And with the distractions and lack of interest at work, i have been doing a lot of damage to my hard earned reputation. You see, at work, it takes years to earn goodwill and nice reputation but in an instance a single bad incident can ruin it all. These days i spend so much time reading all the blogs that I feel really guilty for not working properly. Trust me, when I say that I wasn’t able to sleep anymore after 5 and since I couldn’t dare to go walking until 7, I started reading blogs. Seriously, 5 in the morning! Today, i read somewhere about serial liker who likes posts just to get back views. No, i ain’t one. I like a post because i liked what i read and i know better than wanting to have readers that way. And if you see me liking all of your posts, it just means that i just gave in to my addiction called reading and genuinely liked your post. Right now, while i am writing this post, i had tens of things waiting for me to do. I wish i get a control before i lose everything. I used to do all of these earlier as well, but not sure why I’m so stressed out now. I am terrified, yet, out of control. For good or bad, this blogathon is making me read, write and think a lot. And I really want to do all that and still be happy and good at work. I know what you must be thinking, “Hopeless”. Exactly, that’s what i feel too.
I just wonder why do i have to be addicted to something or the other all the time. Why can i not exercise self control. And then i found this,
But do you really believe that? Do we really have to have some pain or sadness in our life to get addicted to silly things like these. It sounds correct but then, what kind of pain am i in? I cannot think of any. Atleast, none lately. Aah, why is it this difficult. I badly wish for a job that lets me read all day and still pays me. That way, i can be addicted to all these and still have a steady income without the guilt factor. Or at least i wish there were another 12 hours in a day so that i can finish doing everything I want and still be stress free!. It will be magic then, and i so wish for it. 🙂
Okay, i guess that’s enough for a rant. Since there is nothing i want to talk about, i am just doing the rambling thing again. Don’t worry, i am all okay and was just ranting on how pathetic, sad, stupid and tiring i was feeling. 🙂
Hope you all are doing well and at least not struggling in a love/hate relationship with blogathon like me!