English isn’t my mother tongue and I am no expert. I can manage well and have been to places outside India, but I still am not 100% comfortable with the language as I have ignored all my grammar classes while at school. All thanks to my arrogance because of which I thought that I wouldn’t need grammar and I can live without it. It was only later I realised that I can live without it, but never with proper confidence.
You see, by the time I got into high school, I was already into reading. My uncle worked for this paper recycling company and would get me all the nicest books he ever came across. He opened a new world of reading to me. Comics, magazines, novels, big hard bound editions, puzzles and what not. Bless you foreigners who send out everything for recycling. People like my mum would never part from her books and other collections no matter how many years pass by. And back to my story, My mother used to monitor what I read in Telugu(my mother tongue) but never bothered about what I read in English. Now when i ask her about it, she tells me that she thought her brother only gave me comics. But among them, there was everything. Most of the adult stuff I never understood. It brings me a smile now, but back then, I’m sure that it is all something that happens only in foreign countries or something that I couldn’t understand. I just used to classify everything unknown into either of these categories. 🙂 You see, my vocab isn’t even that strong to be able to grasp all that stuff. Huh, that saved my innocence for a while. :p . But the main point is, all this reading built some arrogance in me along with the confidence and moreover, I made it a habit to leave things that I couldn’t understand and move on with the rest.
Now, while this reading helped me with all my English exams, it didn’t do good to me in the real sense. Even with grammar, I followed a rule. Read it out twice or thrice and write the answer that seems to be correct. My analytical skills were too good and my success rate used to be 90%. That gave enough boost to my arrogance and I never felt the need to learn grammar properly. And adding oil to fire is the treatment I used to get from classmates, teachers and family as if I’m some genius. And that way I completed school with totally wrong beliefs and opinions about me and the language as well. If I can go back and change a thing of that life, it would be to make better use of all the resources I was provided and be great at what I was already good at. That one wrong step and unattented arrogance led me into a world of unknown possibilities with the wrong attitude that just led to a series of wrong(not so right) decisions.
Now, this is one part of my long relationship with the English language. This has been in my drafts for long but since I couldn’t write anything new now, I was just pulling out my old drafts that could explain my journey a bit better. I will complete what I started but this is the first part. 🙂
And moreover, I have been sick for the past few days but I guess the phase has passed and I am recovering and is looking forward to a quiet weekend, which by the way is a long one. 🙂 Thank you all for the concern and love. I am glad to have this place. From your posts, I see a few others are also down sick. I hope you recover soon and be back with a bang.
Hope you all are doing well. Take care people.