I should have written this post before telling you all about my plans for the next 3 months.
But anyways, better document now than never 🙂 And so here I am.
I now officially declare that 2016 has been one of the crappiest years of my very short 27-year-old life. And as I didn’t want to share only crappy news on my blog, I didn’t share any of my reasons on the blog throughout the 2nd part of the year. But it just isn’t working. Sharing things on my blog anonymously is the only thing that helped me be sane in this insane world. And I cannot take that option away from me even if it meant that my blog becomes a long, uninteresting sob story. So here I am, spilling out all the beans of 2016 and why it earned the Crappiest title in my books.
1. The year started with me losing out an opportunity to go live and work in Oz. That offer went out to a senior who was from a different team who completely double crossed me and took advantage of the information I shared with him about a requirement over there.
And how did it feel? Crappy and hopeless.
Am I over it? Yes, forgave him in a month or so and sometime during the middle of the year, I made peace with myself.
Now? I got an offer to go but there is still a lingering regret that I would have made it permanent by now. But anyways, better late than never!
2. I got married – I cannot call it a reason for this year being the crappiest one but it eventually led to things that resulted in the crappy part. Like, me having to live with the in-laws, in and outs of depression, health deterioration and what not.
I still don’t know if I made the right choice or if I am happy in the marriage or not, but it is still on and there is more to come in future.
3. My hard earned money is all spent on my marriage that isn’t so wonderful till date, Gadgets that didn’t even last an year, ridiculously expensive health checks that gave only bad news and don’t even exempt me from income tax and tonnes of shopping which still makes me feel like I have no clothes and the three times more rent that I pay!
4. Health – Health – Health: Biggest of all that made me realise how fragile I really was. All my life I was considered the healthy and happy child. Not that Fat wala healthy aah.. I became fat after college. But anyways, I was never the hospital visiting or skipping school wala kid. And imagine I took almost 40 paid leaves this year. 15 for marriage and the rest only due to my health. I know, I am hopeless. But then, I think there is still lot more story to it that would itself make a complete post which I will save for later. But to conclude, the base reasons were accidents(road & kitchen) and PCOS. Yes, I was diagnosed with PCOS. And additionally what I know for sure is that I am in depression and wasn’t just tested for it!
5. Work & Job: A BIG BIG SIGH!!!!! What can I say, with all those sick leaves and marriage leaves, you must be guessing it by now, how wonderful I must have been at the job. Only thanks to my conscience that didn’t want to fail me miserably, I managed to struggle and get my grip back from the 2nd half of the year after we moved out of the in-law’s house. Yes, they are inter-related and that story is for another time. And it was just some sheer luck and some reputation that I have earned with all these years on the Job that I now got my Melbourne offer otherwise, I would be in deep trouble! And even if I leave all the work and pay and bosses etc, there are these things called work satisfaction, dedication & willingness to put effort, and most importantly, the will or want to work, they died.
6. After posting the piece, I was doing some reading and then realise that there are a few more really important reasons that I forgot to add and hence these additions.
- Due to whatsoever reasons, I only managed to read a shamingly less number of books. I’m sorry if it meant like an offense to you, but to a girl/woman who boasts of reading as her first love, it is a SHAME to have the book count less than 10!
- 2nd worse thing than not reading books is not watching movies. From a girl who watched 3 movies back to back in theaters on a single day, I went to this girl who watched one movie in 2 months! That was blasphemous in my imaginary world.
- I can call it the 3rd bad thing after Books & Movies but I myself wanted a restraint over this but this still has a place on this list because not doing this also caused this year to be crappy. Okay, it is watching my beloved K-Dramas! I still am not sure whether to unleash my fury and go download a tonne or keep up the restraint charade, but again I miss you my lovelies!
- Last but not the least, despite not working, not reading books, not watching Movies or Dramas, I didn’t do one proper Binge Reading on Blogosphere! Not even one! That is a rare feat in the last 4 years or so!
Can it be really any more crappy? I dunno!. I can recount some good things too… but they wouldn’t sound good if not for these bad things. And so, I don’t think I have the nerve to make this a cheesy thank you post as the main intention of this post is to get these things out or at least reduce their impact a minimum by getting them off my system.
And there goes the clock changing the date but considering the fact that I started writing the post at 11:50, I am going to change the time and post this one at 11:50. Please excuse me for cheating and take it in for the 3rd Jan post. I’m a little(only little huh) ashamed for doing this but nevertheless proud that I convinced myself to not give up and make some use out of this Blogathon.
A quick update: I found these very meaningful quotes and equally sensible post from Rekha of Dew Drops which resonate most of my feelings and very relevant that i had to add them over here as little reminders to myself.