Thoughts that just wouldn’t leave

At times, it is all about death.

A death that would solve all of my problems at once.

No, suicide wouldn’t serve the purpose. It is a bit too complicated. It would in turn ruin my family(mum,dad&sis). My so-called husband would have to face consequences as well. I definitely don’t want any of these. More than anything, I’m just too scared of the pain that kind of death might involve. Unless it is absolutely impossible to tolerate and i succeed in finding an easy way to do it, i wouldn’t commit suicide.

But i desperately wish for a quick but natural death. I wish there is an easy way out of this life. I wish the universe grants me such wish.

I feel so useless, helpless and suffocated. Dear death, please embrace me in your arms. I seem to be causing a lot of pain the only people I love in this world and couldn’t fix it.

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