Smoking

Do you smoke? Even for fun, have you ever smoked?

To me smoking and smokers are the only things that put me off instantly. I have a very strong sense of smell and the minute a smoker comes into my zone, I start getting irritated. I make faces and then straightaway ask them in face of they smoke. Usually I am a very humble and thoughtful person who is considerate of others feelings. But this one thing makes me forego all my manners and shows the rude and bitchy side of me even to complete strangers.

The other day it was a colleague who had to face my wrath. I now seriously wonder if he thinks I’m the crazy girl who cannot mind her business. He is a nice guy but somehow rubs off everyone the wrong way and people are a little bit harsh to him and are very quick to judge him. Though i defend him when others start bashing about him, i think i let all those words get the best of me and judged him too harshly in the first instance.

He said he started smoking as a way to show solidarity with a friend who was depressed and lost someone recently. Now he smokes 5 cigarettes per day and he thinks it is okay. Ever since i lashed at him, i keep wondering if it was his foolish love for smoking that annoys me or people’s words that entered my brain and made me act so childish.

Either way it is smoke from cigarette or from people’s nasty thoughts that clouded my judgement that I now regret. I should’ve known better. Today I make a promise that no matter what others say, i will never let their shady words cloud my judgement or my actions and I promise to be kind to myself and to others as well no matter what their habits are.

Anyways, take care guys.

Love, Sahasra

Open

It is an amazing thing how human body works. It is built to sustain adverse conditions, recovers and heals itself from injuries, finds ways to protect itself from the defects we are born with. Not even at the entire body level, each and every cell and nerve of our body acts this way. They protect themselves from anything different anything exterior and anything out of the ordinary. I recently managed to cut myself and having no experience in deep cutswas almost clueless at the almost 2 inch cut right below my thumb and it bled as if it would never stop. It took almost 2 weeks to completely heal and almost convinced me to think that i lost my finger to an infected injury which now seems so silly looking at the way the skin around the injury nicely patched the injury and covered it up.

I was actually reading this book “Open”, the autobiography of the Tennis Star Andre Agassi. I’m just a few pages into it and he’s making me think. I consider such books as the good ones as anything that makes me pause, think, and act.

It is surprising to know that he hated Tennis from a young age Nd he had physical conditions that never allowed him to walk normally and all his life, he not only fought his opponents but also his mind, body and heart. Such a conflict his life is. I didn’t complete the book yet. It is going to take me a while considering the hectic schedule I’m living and I hope i can complete it and do a review too.

By the way, do you know what to do when you had a deep cut on your hands or anywhere with a kitchen knife? I read so much about it in the past few weeks that you can consider me an expert. I give all the credit to my super sharp and expensive kitchen knife for the injury and google for the recovery. Read it up once if you got time. It is better to do that before cutting ourself rather than after! Anyways, i now know the guilt free way to quit cooking for a week. 😃

Take care ppl. Happy cooking during the festival season.

Love, Sahasra

Shared from WordPress

Kashmir will become a second Waziristan If… – http://wp.me/p4hgsY-hO

No personal opinion included as this is this is the most sensitive topic I have ever shared and do not wish to create any ripples into my peace.

But this is a very informative read which might not be completely true considering that the worda are coming from a Pasthun Liberation Front Commander fighting against Afghanistan & Pakistan. I think i found an interesting & heart breaking series from the Human Lens as well along the lines. I wish to share that too with you guys once I get her permission.

Also, an update on my travel, Melbourne,  here I come. Please love me too and take care of me okay. 😊

Love, Sahasra.

Someplace new

2017 – Melbourne

2016 – Kerala

2015 – London

2013 – More of Johannesburg

2011 – Johannesburg

I am gonna make this a list and update it with every new place I go be it abroad or in the country, a new place is a new place with new memories and experiences. I hope this list grows long and long and long. 😊😇

Love, Sahasra

The Kheer Story

I was reading Vidya’s blog the other day where she posted this yummy Walnut Kheer. No, I didn’t prepare it. But the post took me to another kheer recipe of hers. Plain Rice kheer which is her mother’s recipe. The love I have for Rice kheer made me want to prepare it. And the date she posted that kheer returned me to memories of my first international trip.

My job took me to Johannesburg and it was one of the most amazing experiences of my life which left me with memories for life. In the middle of July came my birthday on the 16th and I was missing my Mum so badly and set out to make kheer in that South African guest house with nothing but the basics. Remember this was back in 2011 and I was no expert in cooking(not that I’m an expert now!) and succeeded in partly burning the milk and it seemed as if the rice was taking forever to cook and I gave up immediately ending in tears. It wasn’t just the Kheer, 2 months away from home, pressure at work, and a silly fight with my roomies who are also my colleagues all added up to my emotions and flowed into tears.

It was then K, one of my colleagues who took charge and fixed that kheer and made it edible. And another colleague AJ got the cake and they were singing the song. I had a silly fight with them on the very same day, we are all super tired and weren’t on the best of terms. And yet they wanted to see a smile on my face and make me happy. 

Their effort brought a smile on my face and more tears. But this time they were more of gratitude and happiness. It was one of my very first experiences on the kindness of strangers and I am left with a memory for life and indebted forever. Those were the simplest of gestures and yet their timing reserved them a special place in my heart. Only with Gratitude, Love and Respect that I can repay them.

Thank you for those wonderful memories guys and thank you vidya from bringing those back to me now. I did make the kheer 2 days back and though not perfect, it was way better than my earlier attemps and i ate it for lunch and dinner too.😊. I was busy with a friend’s birthday party yesterday and couldn’t properly complete this post and so here I am completing it.

Life sure isn’t easy but some people just make your day with almost nothing but love and kindness. Thanks to such wonderful people.❤😊

Love, Sahasra

2016 – How has it been?

I should have written this post before telling you all about my plans for the next 3 months.
But anyways, better document now than never 🙂 And so here I am.

I now officially declare that 2016 has been one of the crappiest years of my very short 27-year-old life. And as I didn’t want to share only crappy news on my blog, I didn’t share any of my reasons on the blog throughout the 2nd part of the year. But it just isn’t working. Sharing things on my blog anonymously is the only thing that helped me be sane in this insane world. And I cannot take that option away from me even if it meant that my blog becomes a long, uninteresting sob story. So here I am, spilling out all the beans of 2016 and why it earned the Crappiest title in my books.

1. The year started with me losing out an opportunity to go live and work in Oz. That offer went out to a senior who was from a different team who completely double crossed me and took advantage of the information I shared with him about a requirement over there.
And how did it feel? Crappy and hopeless.
Am I over it? Yes, forgave him in a month or so and sometime during the middle of the year, I made peace with myself.
Now? I got an offer to go but there is still a lingering regret that I would have made it permanent by now. But anyways, better late than never!

2. I got married – I cannot call it a reason for this year being the crappiest one but it eventually led to things that resulted in the crappy part. Like, me having to live with the in-laws, in and outs of depression, health deterioration and what not.
I still don’t know if I made the right choice or if I am happy in the marriage or not, but it is still on and there is more to come in future.

3. My hard earned money is all spent on my marriage that isn’t so wonderful till date, Gadgets that didn’t even last an year, ridiculously expensive health checks that gave only bad news and don’t even exempt me from income tax and tonnes of shopping which still makes me feel like I have no clothes and the three times more rent that I pay!

4. Health – Health – Health: Biggest of all that made me realise how fragile I really was. All my life I was considered the healthy and happy child. Not that Fat wala healthy aah.. I became fat after college. But anyways, I was never the hospital visiting or skipping school wala kid. And imagine I took almost 40 paid leaves this year. 15 for marriage and the rest only due to my health. I know, I am hopeless. But then, I think there is still lot more story to it that would itself make a complete post which I will save for later. But to conclude, the base reasons were accidents(road & kitchen) and PCOS. Yes, I was diagnosed with PCOS. And additionally what I know for sure is that I am in depression and wasn’t just tested for it!

5. Work & Job: A BIG BIG SIGH!!!!! What can I say, with all those sick leaves and marriage leaves, you must be guessing it by now, how wonderful I must have been at the job. Only thanks to my conscience that didn’t want to fail me miserably, I managed to struggle and get my grip back from the 2nd half of the year after we moved out of the in-law’s house. Yes, they are inter-related and that story is for another time. And it was just some sheer luck and some reputation that I have earned with all these years on the Job that I now got my Melbourne offer otherwise, I would be in deep trouble! And even if I leave all the work and pay and bosses etc, there are these things called work satisfaction, dedication & willingness to put effort, and most importantly, the will or want to work, they died.

6. After posting the piece, I was doing some reading and then realise that there are a few more really important reasons that I forgot to add and hence these additions.

  • Due to whatsoever reasons, I only managed to read a shamingly less number of books. I’m sorry if it meant like an offense to you, but to a girl/woman who boasts of reading as her first love, it is a SHAME to have the book count less than 10!
  • 2nd worse thing than not reading books is not watching movies. From a girl who watched 3 movies back to back in theaters on a single day, I went to this girl who watched one movie in 2 months! That was blasphemous in my imaginary world.
  • I can call it the 3rd bad thing after Books & Movies but I myself wanted a restraint over this but this still has a place on this list because not doing this also caused this year to be crappy. Okay, it is watching my beloved K-Dramas! I still am not sure whether to unleash my fury and go download a tonne or keep up the restraint charade, but again I miss you my lovelies!
  • Last but not the least, despite not working, not reading books, not watching Movies or Dramas, I didn’t do one proper Binge Reading on Blogosphere! Not even one! That is a rare feat in the last 4 years or so!

Can it be really any more crappy? I dunno!. I can recount some good things too… but they wouldn’t sound good if not for these bad things. And so, I don’t think I have the nerve to make this a cheesy thank you post as the main intention of this post is to get these things out or at least reduce their impact a minimum by getting them off my system.

And there goes the clock changing the date but considering the fact that I started writing the post at 11:50, I am going to change the time and post this one at 11:50. Please excuse me for cheating and take it in for the 3rd Jan post. I’m a little(only little huh) ashamed for doing this but nevertheless proud that I convinced myself to not give up and make some use out of this Blogathon.

A quick update: I found these very meaningful quotes and equally sensible post from Rekha of Dew Drops which resonate most of my feelings and very relevant that i had to add them over here as little reminders to myself.

Love, Sahasra.