This n that

Well, I wanted to keep posting updates regularly so that i stay on course with my list. Though not exactly, but to the maximum possible extent.

The weekend was another waste except for lots of cooking, binge watching and reading. One good thing is that my erratic sleeping hours are a bit under control. I have made​ new rules about food and sleep cycles.

  1. No food after 10pm. If at all I’m too hungry or craving for something, then i can have a fruit or a few grapes.
  2. No coke or caffeine after work hours. Try to limit myself to one coffee a day.
  3. Get back to drinking green tea and atleast one bottle of water per day.
  4. Little or no rice in main courses while adding more veggies and protein. Add soups to dinner menus.
  5. Make mental notes of sugar and salt intake. Regulate and control it.
  6. Finish food in fridge before cooking anything else.
  7. Finish groceries at hand before buying anymore.
  8. Minimal usage of Carol’s resources.
  9. Sleep early and wake up early. I know, this is the toughest of all!
  10. Make proper use of lunch break at office. Maybe, walk for 20 minutes everyday! Do something other than work.

Well, i know I’m making too many lists. But to me, making lists is the most effective way to get back on track. I’m tuned that way. I think most of the tasks on my list are actionable and pretty much reasonable. Let’s see how it goes. It will be good if i atleast suceed doing half of the list. As Don Tillman would say, it is like a Gordian knot where one of these might help me get everything done.

Talking of Don Tillman, i have started reading “The Rosie Effect” by Graeme Simson. The 2nd one in the series after “The Rosie Project” which was one wonderful book. 50 pages into it, i now think i need to revisit Rosie Project again! There seem to be lapses in memory. 😋 Memory loss at 27(28 in a month!). Anyways, totally loving Rosie Effect but thinking of keeping it on hold and reading Rosie Project again. I’m not exactly sure where to buy the book but need to search for it. For the love of Don and Rosie, I need to reread it.

Good night ppl. Signing off for the day, Shabba Kher.

Meri Pyaari Bindu

If you are not a fan of Ayushmann Khurana, then be one. Well, Parineeti Chopra is no less but you know, I’m into men. So, Ayushmann it is.

How can a guy be that beautiful? I know it is ‘Handsome’ for men, but one look at him, his perfectly shaped eyebrows, those wonderful eyes and that sad yet soulful smile, makes me say beautiful and wow. More than that, how can he do that magic in every single movie? He is absolutely adorable and yummilicious. I need not say a word about his acting abilities. If not for the fact that he is happily married, i would’ve just believed that Abhi and Bindu are for real. He is that amazing and convincing. 

The movie may be titled after the herione but Ayushmann is the one who captured my heart. This I don’t think is any coincidence. Can i relate to the story? A big YES. If only i was happy in my marriage and had a kid and found out what i can be really good at, the story would’ve been mine. But it isn’t and still, i loved the guy because it remembered me of that guy who was my bestfriend and who loved me like crazy. If it wasn’t something that i have seen and lived, i would’ve probably laughed it off calling it a fictional sob story. But no, things like that happen and people like me break hearts just because we don’t know what we are doing. Just because we aren’t sure if it is right or wrong, we give up. We are confused and most often, are tortured souls who not only torture ourself but also end up doing the same to everyone around us. You see what I’m doing? I end up telling about myself eventually. This is why i call myself a narcissist. By the way, apart from the fact that Parineeti(Bindu) has a picture perfect body, i really think we have real similarities in being confused and breaking hearts. I’m not the wild child but i sure am the confused one. One thing’s for sure that we will always have those memories of our first love in our heart forever no matter how it ends. So, that is what this movie reminds me of.

Anyways, if you have the time, please do go and watch the movie. It is so worth it. I can really say, if you ever had a love story that didn’t work out, you’ll definitely find yourself somewhere in their journey. And if yours is one of those happily​ every after stories, you’ll definitely thank your partner for the clarity they had on life.😆😋 

I NEVER cry at the movies and there i am literally sobbing by the end of the movie. You know, to me, it was a wonderful experience watching it.

Have a great Sunday everyone.

Love, Sahasra.

First day..

Not sure why… but tears are just rolling out of my eyes. Somehow, i just couldn’t stop them. Even crying out loud in the washroom isn’t helping as it does most of the times.
The fact that I’m settling for a new life which is going to be very difficult for me, isn’t letting me be any bit normal. Yesterday, when i was sent off with my husband after the wedding, my dad is the only one who had tears in his eyes. No one else cried. Not even me! While it is true that my dad crying like a baby was a haunting visual that would never leave my memory, me not crying at all was also weird. To be frank, i was too tired for anything. I just wanted to get out of that saree, all that makeup, and get some sleep.
But the next day, when we reached his house and when we were given a house tour, maybe it was then the feeling sunk. That i left my family and entered into this new one, of which i literally new nothing about. The fact that i got married hit me so hard that i ended up with nothing but tears in my eyes.
And they weren’t stopping. He was already worried and started panicking. He wanted to know why to which i had no answer. I missed my home. I missed the comfort and warmth it provided me. I missed my mum, dad and sis really badly. I was dead worried about my future of which i have no confidence at all. How can i ever explain all these feelings and emotions to him.
I just have my aunt with me and she tried her best to comfort me and distract me. It was only when i got into the shower, warm tears ran down my cheeks and i was sobbing like a kid. With all that crying, i was out of breath, was coughing and puking. I never cry in public. I can only cry when I’m alone. And when i do, my sinus throws every bad thing it has and it was no different this time. I don’t even remember when was the last time i cried this bad. It was one of the longest showers of my life. The beautiful house, a seemingly warm family, a caring husband meant nothing in that moment. I wished some magic happened and undid the marriage from my life.
I started writing this post on the very same day when I’m in between this crying phase but couldn’t complete it due to the intensity of those emotions. And i have tears again in my eyes while writing this post. I don’t know the how’s and why’s of these emotions. But they are here and they had a place in my heart. I wonder if any of this mean anything. I equally wonder how everyone else does this. Man, it was damn hard.

Wish me all the luck.
Sahasra

The Year I Met You by Cecilia Ahern

I probably should held out a disclaimer even before writing out my thoughts about the book. It was years ago when i accidentally stumbled across a Cecilia Ahern book only to find it amazing and magical. It was later that i came to know how successful she was as an author. And i have been a fan of her ever since and instantly keep liking her books. So, i may not be fair over here as i am more of an emotional person than the logical one i always struggle or want to be. What i wanted to say was, though not completely, my liking towards her and her books may tend to show up somewhere or the other and impact my opinions. 🙂

I read the book during January blogathon and that did not leave me enough time to review the book and now, when i tried to remind myself of what i felt while reading the book, my brain came up with nothing. While i was reading the book, it was almost as if, i lived the life of Jasmine, the girl whose story the book was about and yet, i feel an emptiness in my brain when i try to recollect the memories. It was strange as i always felt or had strong and clear opinions about books once i am done reading them. But then, slowly came back all those feelings when i came across certain things or people in my own life. Like the other day, when i was told by someone that i was too close to my family and i never let anyone else come that close. I live far away from them but i never call them everyday. I rarely call and talk to my sister unless there is something that needs to be discussed or needed. But we still know how important we were to each other and my parents knew how emotional i was when it was about them. Like Jasmine in the book, i was too close to my sister and was way more protective of her than i was supposed to be. Sometimes, the book made me wonder about the relation between siblings. Why are we so attached to them? Why do we love them unconditionally? Why do we see them in a different light and why do we think that we know them better than the world? Just because we share our parents, house and some part of life, do we have to do all that? Do we have to give and take so much? The magic this relationship has never ceases to surprise me. One moment we were almost on the verge of killing each other and then in the very next moment, there comes this kindness and love that makes you forgive and forget anything that ever happened and sit down for a meal together. The author made me rethink of all those thoughts i have about my relationship with my sister and no wonder i thought i lived her life. No, my sister isn’t suffering from any kind of syndrome or disease but it was the affection, love, trust and unconditional support that made me feel home. Apart from the love for her sister, the obsession that she had for success, for work, for helping people create better things and having no life other than work are a few things that most of us see in our everyday lives. This has been a growing culture and until unless some sort of miracle happens, you just cannot stay out of that vicious circle.
I really believe when people say that things happen for a reason and that applies to bad things too. Sometimes disasters happen just to get us out of the mess we were sitting in. We just fail to see it at that moment and it only sinks in once we give it enough time. Sometimes, being busy with our lives, we think that everything’s going well and it cannot be any better. It is during these times when disaster strikes us to show us how wrong we were and what’s really wrong with the path we followed.
Our life is always a miracle and no matter what happens, we have to live with hope for the future. I really believe in this and this book says it all in a loud and clear voice.
And finally, Cecilia Ahern still has the secured place in my heart. Love her and her books. Look into her books if you find anytime. They are worth it.

This is a cheat post for the missed post yesterday and since I’m too messed up to write anything using my brain, I edited my review post from drafts and here it is.

Take Care people.

Love
Sahasra

Big girl

No re, I’m not talking about myself. It is Danielle Steele’s book that I’m talking about.
13 charles Street is the first book of Steele that I got to read. I really enjoyed the book. I always liked stories about the contemporary world. Stories that aren’t too depressing nor too fictitious. No wonder I loved her book. Not sure why it took me so long to pick her book again but this one is worth the wait. Loved Big girl for many reasons. I wouldn’t give out spoilers but would just tell you why I loved this book so much that I’m going for a second read. So, here’s why this became a good read to me. 🙂
1. I’m a big girl too and the thought of reading some story related to the topic is exciting.
2. Different things happen differently in everyone’s life. Just because you have a few things in common, it doesn’t mean that you’ve seen similar life. This book gives a great example for this.
3. Just because you are born to the same parents, it doesn’t mean that you think the same or you’ll have to look the same.
4. Just because a few people in the world think that you are fat and aren’t attractive, you need not stop living your life.
5. Parents might be the most wonderful and equally dangerous breed in the world.
6. Of course, your parents love you and can only think about your goodness and wellbeing. But for sure it doesn’t mean that whatever they do is good for you.
No matter what they say, we are the one’s who should be deciding what’s good for us and what’s not.
7. Parents give you good advices and suggestions from their own life experiences. They think we can play safe by following their footsteps. But what they forget is that no two lifes are similar and one has to make his own mistakes to grow. And the things they think are good to us need not necessarily be good for real as they think with their heart and brain when it’s our own brain and heart who knows what’s best for us.
And if I keep on listing like this, I will end up writing the whole story. So, that’s it for now people. And huh, don’t hesitate to pick it up when you see it. It’s a nice and interesting read.
Take care. Bye.

Love
Sahasra

Shop Alone!

I don’t know what everyone else calls it, but to me it is clear cut and really cheap therapy which works amazingly well.
I love to shop alone. No, I go shopping with friends too. But when I crave for lone time and when my brain is too busy with thoughts and has absolutely no capacity to handle any kind of conversation, shopping is the only solace. I know that it costs me money, but I always try to have it under control and only shop as much as I can afford. The grocery lists I usually make, come to my rescue. I roam around those big grocery aisles and clear my brain in the process. I don’t know how it works, but it works for me. I roam around in the mall for hours and it leaves me tired enough that I just go home and fall asleep. Hours of lone time and one good night sleep does all the magic.
Sometimes, I get the feeling that there must be something wrong with me to find solace in such a weird habit. Am I strange? I have no idea if it is a good thing or a bad thing. But that’s me and one of my weird traits. 🙂
It was on Friday, when I was feeling a bit low and was absolutely clueless(like I am on most of the days!). Adding to it, there is a mall at 10 minute walking distance from office and with the weird trait i have, no wonder my feet took me there. You know what I bought? Books again! A total of 4 that cost me around 1500 INR. I’m crazy to buy so many books costing me so much especially now when I haven’t read a single book in the last 3 months!
And then, the shameless me wanted to buy another book for 800 as it was a book by a favourite author written after a good 7 years of break. It was then that my brain awoke from its very deep sleep and told me NO and that I can buy that book as a birthday gift if I was able to finish reading these 4 before my birthday. Nice challenge, thought my heart and said, ok.
That way, I left the mall with mixed feelings and cleared thoughts.
So, now I’m on a mission of the reading kind. To complete reading all 4 books in less than a month. Will keep you posted with reviews of my kind :).

Take care people.

Love
Sahasra