A peep into my brain

Well, it might look like I’m bragging, but I’m just writing for myself.

Well, even if I’m bragging, who cares. I’m just being myself. I felt like writing and had no patience to type it all down. So, I’m just being lazy. It’s too much work today and with the impossible targets I have for myself, I’m not going to type it in anytime soon. So, it’s here this way!

If you’re really interested, read and enjoy my confused brain. 😉😎

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Parents

Miss them like anything….

1 week and this is how I feel. It feels so lonely without them. I feel so empty. Even after fighting for days, if this is how much you miss someone the minute they leave, maybe this is called love.

I never felt this sort of thing for my husband. Infact it is always the opposite.

I wish I can be a kid again and go stay with my parents. I wish i can hug my mother tight forever and sleep next to her. I wish i can just hold my dad’s hand forever and feel as safe as i can ever be. Just that warmth is worth everything in this world.

I miss you so much Amma and Nanna. I miss the sound of you guys walking around the house, i miss your voices, I miss your presence, i miss coming home to someone warm and loving, i miss you like crazy. I now have the recollection of all those moments i usually feel when I’m coming from home. This time it is a bit worse as I’m still here… And it is you guys who left. Maybe, this is how you guys felt everytime me or chinnu left the house.

I terribly miss hugging you amma.

Thoughts that just wouldn’t leave

At times, it is all about death.

A death that would solve all of my problems at once.

No, suicide wouldn’t serve the purpose. It is a bit too complicated. It would in turn ruin my family(mum,dad&sis). My so-called husband would have to face consequences as well. I definitely don’t want any of these. More than anything, I’m just too scared of the pain that kind of death might involve. Unless it is absolutely impossible to tolerate and i succeed in finding an easy way to do it, i wouldn’t commit suicide.

But i desperately wish for a quick but natural death. I wish there is an easy way out of this life. I wish the universe grants me such wish.

I feel so useless, helpless and suffocated. Dear death, please embrace me in your arms. I seem to be causing a lot of pain the only people I love in this world and couldn’t fix it.

Another God Man and his rise

https://thewire.in/181795/isha-foundation-coimbatore-land-grabbing/

These days, everyone in India must have noticed the Rally for Rivers ad at one point or the other.

I personally never understood why we have to rally for the rivers? Maybe, I’m ignorant unlike these wise god men and the pathetic leaders of our country.

I just wish we all are a little bit more educated, compassionate and liberal in our thoughts and actions.

I have no real energy to write but if you got a few minutes to read, please click on the link and try to understand the plight of these tribals and how these so called God-Men become so powerful in our country.

Weird thing called body!

Up until a few minutes ago, i was literally dying from that back pain, body pains, uneasiness, nausea and what not. It felt like banging my head somewhere or anywhere. I couldn’t sit, stand, or even sleep.

And all of a sudden, I don’t know what happened, it’s all over. It is all okay. No back pain, no nausea and i feel all okay. I coughed for a while and then the pain just went away.

My body is weird. I just don’t get it at all. I have been bleeding continuously day in day out and obviously sleep deprived, hungry and dead-tired. I get these unbearable and excruciating pain at times and suddenly everything gets back to normal. I wish once in a while this bleeding stops too. I’m turning pale as in corpse pale. I can still feel some tension building up in my back again but that’s an anxiety thing. It comes and goes. I just wish the pain doesn’t come back soon.

Oh dear body, don’t be so clueless and give me something to live with.