I woke up to a notification from WordPress that I have joined word press 7 years ago. 7 years is a really long time for anything. I’m so proud that throughout all my ups and downs, this little space has been there for me. I have people who built my morale when I was feeling terribly low and there were warm cheers from someone I admire on my achievements. It has been a wonderful journey.
My life has not always been rosy and beautiful. It has its own dark moments and bright mornings. A lot happened in these past 7 years. In 2010, I joined the job that I’m still doing. Started off as a trainee and is now leading my own team. Moved from a small town to a big city. Travelled overseas for the first time and many times later. Met so many wonderful people and made amazing friends. Crushed on friends, colleagues, lost loves and finally ended up marrying a stranger. Got married and divorced in a span of 2 years. Went into the depths of depression and still hurdling many steps to get better every day. From being the healthiest person in the lot, turned into the most fragile person of the lot. Have grown from overweight to obese. Moved from tiny, unventilated, dirty hostels to my own apartment(albeit rented). Graduated from being a maggie-cook to someone who dishes out miracles. Fell in love, fell out of love, is still a confused crazy person when it comes to the matters of the heart. Loved my job, hated the same job and went equally crazy about the idiots and geniuses at work. I first started the blog on Blogspot and then after a year or so, moved to WordPress.
Like I always wanted, this blog is completely about me. Everything about me, related to me, thoughts that I thought, feelings felt, this place covered almost every emotion I have ever felt. Though the long breaks in between fail to cover some episodes of my life, they are either too good or too bad to be written or remembered via a blog. I always have a storm going on in my head. The waves and ripples of all those thoughts that I struggle to keep track of are all in there. I sometimes do wish that I had a peaceful head. But no, I am what I am and I gotta deal with what I got. That is how this space was born, as a place to put my thoughts, that helps me with some clarity. Not sure if that really happened, but this place is really like my best friend that I share my deepest secrets with. Really dark and deepest of the secrets end up either in drafts or as private posts. But in any case, I write. One of the biggest gifts this blog has ever given me is the art and skill of writing. Throughout the years, I realised that it is not just wine that gets better with time. It is the same with writing too. I developed a style and method. I do fewer mistakes and I now have the skill of conclusion. Though I’m too dark and depressing to read, my prose is readable now. It was no less of a skill and as I understood my journey, I ended up less judgemental of what others wrote or did or said. That’s because I have come to understand that every person is a work in progress and there is no point in judging anyone for anything except living our own life freeing a little space in the brain for things we love from all the judgemental stuff.
At this point, I learn a lot every day and still struggle to just survive. My health is at its worst and my brain is just back in recovery. I realised that I have an innate disdain for pretentious people and that I should go easy on others stupidity as I myself is stupid in many areas. And that if I don’t want to be pretentious, then I have to be better at everything I do and be in a position that I don’t have to be pretentious and/or tolerate someone as such. This decade has seen a big reverse V in my life where I started with nothing and end with nothing and is now in process of climbing back that steep uphill again.
With all said and written, I can only be thankful for this place, life and everything that came along. I spent a decade, the best time of my life on a job that I never really understood and with people I may never see again. I can now only hope that I make my thirties a better decade and something I would want to fondly recall one day. 🙂
Thank you 🙂