Thinking Glasses

Have been thinking a lot lately on what I want to do with my life.

What is it that I love to do for the rest of my life?

Earlier, whenever I posed this question to myself, I always thought that I’d be fine even if it is something that doesn’t pay me much or give me fame, and I’d be really grateful as long as it just something I enjoy doing and if it is something that makes me happy. Now, I realise it is really difficult to find something as such.

I’m 31 now and will turn 32 in 6 months. I spent two decades in school and college and one more decade doing my first job. Now that I finally took the leap and had time for myself for the first time in a decade, i keep thinking all sorts of things.

Should I wait until I figure out what I really love doing OR should I just go with the flow and start something afresh and figure out what I love in the course of life.

At times while I do feel the urgency to figure out something for myself soon, there’s also a thought in some moments, that I’m in no rush and I should take my time figuring out what makes me feel alive and where my happiness is.

As of now, all I know is that whatever I do, I give my best, I give it my all and I’ll succeed in anything life throws at me, no matter what it is. I have that confidence in me. What I don’t know is, if I’ll love what life has thrown at me or will I just continue to do it for the sake of survival?

At this point in life I do not have many responsibilities. Be it financially or emotionally or any way other. I’m relatively free to make any choice that I wish to make. So is it wise to wait or should I make some choice now and go with whatever plans I made for myself? It’s not like i have traditional plans of getting married and having kids. I have all the time in the world to figure out what I want. But just because I have time and have no responsibilities whatsoever, should I just go with the flow and live my life just the same way I’ve lived for the past decade?

There’s one thing that’s different now from earlier. The burden of expectations from family and society to prove myself, to make a family for myself and settle down, doesn’t exist now. Even if I go down the same route as before, would the end result still be the same when all the critical variables have changed!?

By the way, it is so much fun not to think about anything serious and just enjoy my days doing nothing. All I’m doing these days is eating, reading, watching dramas and doing minor chores. I’m also scared that I’ll get used to this life and give up on everything 😅..

Whew!… How do I conclude!?