Some people always know what they are, what they want to be and how they want their life to be. Things may take the same course or not, but they are sure on what’s next and what to do if that doesn’t work out. Sadly, I am never this kind of person and my guess is that I will never be.
And do I want to be like these people? Yes, I do. For once in my life, I would really want to know what’s in my brain and what I really want to do. I sometimes hate myself for being this confused and indecisive soul. People think I am lazy to do things or I lack motivation and determination. But that’s not the case all the time. It was my confusion that leads me to not do things and leave certain things half-way. I know nothing good comes out of it, but I cannot help but be that way. I envy people who have this clarity in and about life. Sometimes, I even wish I was them.
And now, Life has thrown me into a place where I have no option but to follow some definite path. It’s not like this is the first time I’m facing a situation like this, I have passed through such tests before but this time, I am at crossroads with a really difficult choice waiting at the end, for me to move across and join. I hate to call it that, but this is one important moment of my life over which I have little or no control. I cannot blame anyone for this as it is me alone who caused this. My indecisiveness, confusion and lack of clarity lead to this situation.
God, For once, will you tell me where my heart wants me to go? I often think if thereb is any sure shot way to find it out!