At this moment in life, if there is something that I desperately want, it is freedom.
Freedom to be what I am. Freedom to just be. Freedom to live without fear. Freedom to be free from these judgemental eyes around me. Freedom from the confined thoughts of my mind. Freedom to develop the courage to look beyond the mess that I am in. Freedom to breathe. Freedom to live my life the way I want to. Freedom to give up on things. Freedom from the shackles that are holding me.
I want the freedom to tell my thoughts fearlessly without having to worry about the impact it would have on my family. Freedom to just shout out how much i hate having him in my life and how much I hated being in this marriage which felt like a jail to me every time. Freedom and courage to just leave this mess and everybody around and just runaway to a faraway place, to a distant lanr where nobody knows me. I want the freedom to dream of a world where my life is my business but not anybody else’s, where i am only answerable to myself but not to anyone else.
God, this is a request from the most deepest places of my heart. Please show me the path to that life. Atleast give me the courage to face this world and tell my truth. Give me the strength to face the consequences. More than me, make my family strong enough to take the blow and still move on in life with or without me. Please dear God, there is nothing else that i wish from you.