Tears

Tears just wouldn’t stop. Till a moment ago, I had the excuse of onions in front of me. But now, they are done too. It has been the same since a couple of days. The fact that i have to leave for my real life tomorrow, is just killing me. It feels so heavy in the heart. And trying to write this out isn’t helping at all. Tears are bursting out allover. I had to lock myself in the room to prevent mum from watching me like this. These tears weren’t forced or fake. A pained heart is just crying out loud to take some weight of it.

I wish i know what my problem is. I know it is my marriage that is making me so unhappy. But there are no solid reasons to it. Well, it looks like the heart registers everything the mind wants to forget. Life proves to me again that no matter what, mind cannot control everything. 

Lou Gehrig

Never ever seen a base ball game in my 26  years of my life. Happened to come across a tribute to Lou Gehrig this morning and I was wondering all day about where I heard this name. I started googling the name and then found the connection. Not long time back, there was this ALS Ice Bucket challenge about which everyone literally went crazy. I read about the disease back then, but never cared to read about the person after whom this disease is renamed. Wiki portrays a wonderful sketch of the man’s life and it is indeed amazing to know about such a man.

And before I talk more about this man, I must say that I’m in a fragile and very weak emotional state due to stress from personal and professional lives. I wish things were as easy as the tears that tried to flow down the cheeks and I wish I had the courage to stand up for my life or should I say for control over my life. Anyways, this emotional me, got a reason to let the tears flow by when I read about the person. No one ever told me that crying for silly reasons can also make your heart lighter. Though I knew nothing of you, I thank you for being that person everyone says you are and thank you for moving me with your life. Here is the poem written by, John Keiran (another name that sounds very familiar but not sure how and from where! I still have to research him.) for the day he retired. I hope you like it as much as I did.

“We’ve been to the wars together;
We took our foes as they came;
And always you were the leader,
And ever you played the game.

Idol of cheering millions,
Records are yours by sheaves;
Iron of frame they hailed you
Decked you with laurel leaves.

But higher than that we hold you,
We who have known you best;
Knowing the way you came through
Every human test.

Let this be a silent token
Of lasting Friendship’s gleam,
And all that we’ve left unspoken;
Your Pals of the Yankees Team.”

This is it people. Take care and love you all.
Love,
Sahasra