Hello There!

I know we all live in the same world and strangely under the same reality for the first time ever.

And I also know that it has been a long time since I posted anything here. But if you know anything about writing, you know how it is. You can only write when the mind wants to write. There is no forcing it or marching ahead no matter what. There is no other way around making one’s brain to write. So, it is the same case with me. Life got to me and I have been busy and with no space left in my brain to gather enough energy to write.

But I know I cannot stay away from this little space of mine forever and hence, here I am. So, whoever knows me, here’s a quick update and will get into the details of what all has been happening later.

I have been well and I hope you are all well and doing whatever is best for you in this situation.

Since I live in the capital city of a southern state of India and work in IT, I have been faring relatively well compared to the general population of the world. And I know that I shouldn’t complain, but I have worked 3 times more in the last 2 months than the entire Q4 of 2019-20. Partly because Q4 is usually filled with a lot of holidays and Corona has led to a lot more additional insecurity related to the Job resulting in me working harder than required. And since the last week, I have started going back to work after a long work from home period. It is not a choice and it could have been completely avoided for at least a couple more months but what can I do, I was asked to come back to the office and obliged after stalling it for 3 weeks. So, that’s that.

And before Coronavirus started its invasion, I was spending days miserably at work every day, just surviving week after week and filling weekends with endless chores and silently waiting for my bank balances to rise enough to help me make a move for my Melbourne plans. In a way, Coronavirus saved me from my depressing office setting. I wish I get to work from home for a couple more months. My productivity hit peaks during the last 2 months. I wish someone notices that and asks me to work from home for the rest of my life πŸ˜›Β  And my finances are a bit better now, with me reaching a break-even point in terms of expenses vs savings enough to survive me for a couple of years abroad. But now that we have new health scenarios in the picture, I realised that I also need to plan for health emergencies both for me and my family. It will be a few more months of toiling but I’m sure I can tolerate this job and frankly, I don’t have a lot of choices, with or without the world being this way.

And after surviving anonymity for a decade, I made a mistake last week of linking my newly created Instagram account for the blog with my personal account and it sent out notifications to everyone on my contact list. This stress caused due to this is equivalent to that of a heart attack and somehow I survived it by making the blog private for a while and deleting the said Instagram account.

To all my friends in this sphere, I hope you all are doing well in your lives and not hit by the covid19 pandemic. I would love to know that you are doing okay. Please stop by if you have a minute and drop me an email if you just want someone to talk to.

Love, Sahasra.

 

Acceptance

Whatever has happened, has happened.Β There is nothing that I can do to change any of what’s done.

I cannot change how I led my school life.

I cannot change what I choose to study after school.

I cannot change how I choose to study while at college.

I cannot change how I forced myself to love someone when I clearly wasn’t in love.

I cannot change how I lived my life after college.

I cannot change how I ended up getting married to someone I never connected with.

I cannot change how I behaved while I was married.

I cannot change how the marriage ended (technically, yet to end).

I, more certainly cannot change how I ended up depressed, sad, confused, lost and miserable, after what was supposed to be the best decision I have ever taken.

I cannot change how people behave or what people think of me and my family.

I cannot change how my family thinks of me or how sad I make them feel.

Sometimes, there is nothing one can do about certain things. They cannot be changed. But one can always change how they let these things affect them. One can always decide to accept it for whatever it is and find peace in chaos. The past cannot be changed and the future cannot be predicted. It is only the present we have. There is no point in sulking about the past or worrying about the future. Live this day, today, to the fullest. As selfish as it may sound, today, love yourself to the fullest. Do everything that makes you happy today. And in all that, somewhere you’ll find peace. The way you treat your today makes a world of difference on your tomorrow. Be you, and Choose you, Over everything and everyone. Stop worrying about everything that’s either in the past or in the future. Just make the best of what you can today and see how it works wonders for tomorrow. πŸ™‚