One of those days

It is one of those days when I find the need to….

  • To shout or yell at someone loudly about everything
  • To want to pull someone close, hold their hand and tell them that I’m not okay and that I need help
  • To feel like I’m living in a body again not some rotten piece of meat
  • To feel alive and joyous in my heart
  • To be excited about everything I have and the energy to get what I don’t.
  • To feel healthy and happy in my mind, body and soul..

And finally, to want to live now…. and later one day far in the future, to die a peaceful death.

The next 180 days # Day 179

The most difficult moment is to wake up and get off the bed. These days the bed seems to stick like glue and my body doesn’t want to leave it at all. It feels like a successful day the minute i get off from the bed!

Though i wasted precious morning hours sleeping, I’m happy i slept. It has been a while since i slept well and even though it is just 5 hours, it seems like a good night. I had trouble sleeping early and it shows in the morning. I don’t know how i can make my brain shut and go to sleep early.

So, for yesterday’s tasks, I’ve done all but one. Failed the no watching anything on tv or phone condition. It is just difficult not to watch anything when you have a phone, laptop and tv all around along with a wandering brain!

Let’s do it again today. It will not be a total ban but only 1 hour for any kind of watching.

And the rest of the rules stay same.

1. No distractions at work.

2. Eat healthy.

3. Read for atleast an hour.

4. Entertainment screen time <1 hour.

5. Plan for tomorrow.

And most importantly, you deserve to be well and so be well. Be happy.

And now, with a smile, start your day. It’s all going to be okay.

Aja, Aja, Fighting 🙅👩‍💻😊